This one's for you buddy.
12.04.2012 - 18.04.2012 5 °C
I have been putting off writing this entry because it's not like my other ones. Something happened recently and I am still trying to wrap my head around it...
It's times like this when it is really hard to be so far away from everyone and everything that you know.
But it's times like this that also bring my mantra to light, and is a glaring reminder of how we must live every day...and events like these teach me that all the time...
This time it was a friend of mine. A new friend who I have only known for a few months, and oddly enough, just spent a few days with him. But in that short time, and a handful of emails, I felt so connected. Maybe it was his joyful personality, or his similar sense of humor. Or his quick wit, and massive smile. Whatever it was, he cast a lasting impression on me. One second someone is there, and then they are gone.
Monday morning my friend Skyped me when I woke up and told me the news. I was paralyzed. "Lost at sea.." "Called off the search.." None of these phrases made any sense. How could this be?/ We were all just wine tasting in Sonoma not even three months ago?? I was just looking at pictures on facebook of him. I had just read this headline on Yahoo news, and kinda overlooked it since I'm thinking, 'Man, boat race called off..missing people...that's sad." And now one of those missing people is actually someone I KNOW. How is this happening?!
I have a mini meltdown as I try to take this in. Then, my sweet Bedste comes to check on me, as I'm crying, I'm furiously trying to spit out that one of my friends is now dead in horrible Danish, but she gets the point. She hugs me, and I return to my Skype call. How is this happening again?
I leave to go into the city, and just think about my friend, and the worlds I live by, and why I am here, writing this very blog. CARPE DIEM.
You never know...you just never know. I think, what if someone told you how long we have, or how much time was left? Would we live it differently? The amazing thing about my friend, my other friend pointed out, is that he would have NEVER lived his life differently. He came over from Ireland, wanting to move to the States, and live in the beautiful city of San Fran. He had a dream and went after it. And once he was here, he did everything! He was in a ukelele club, he went wine tasting, he would go rock climbing....he f****ing did it. He understood what carpe diem is because he lived it everyday. Now, THAT'S inspiring!!
As I rode into the city, looking out the bus window I thought how unfair it is, when you lose someone, the world just keeps going. It wasn't cloudy, or rainy. People around me are all smiling, and not crying. Life just....goes on. But that is when i took a closer look, and once off the bus, I decided to take out my camera and just start taking pictures...of everything and anything.
There were flags everywhere because it was the Queen's birthday. Ironic. But all I could think about honestly as I walked the beautiful streets of Kobenhavn, and the sun was shining was that it was Elmer telling me....hey I'm ok, and everything is going to be ok! So get your arse out there, and keep living your life!!
It's so short, and fleeting. Petty things we think are important, aren't. Things we tend to overlook and take for granted are. In the end, all we have are our friends, family, and memories of this crazy thing we call life. Every day. I have so many worries every day because I may have no idea what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. But one thing that I NEVER worry about is regrets and not following my crazy heart and crazy dreams. I'm so glad to be here spending time with my grandma, finally being able to speak with her. It's so nice to reconnect with my cousins. It's amazing to spend time with my friends here (two of which are pregnant, and will soon have babies!) I feel so blessed that I can still do all the silly, crazy things I want to do. I'm beyond words with what has recently happened, but I also know that he would never want us to all be sad. He was such a joyful person full of so much LIFE!!! He would want us to throw a party, have a beer, think of all the awesome times we had, and remind us, "Hey, I'll see you again in a few years, don't you worry!" In my mind, that is how this story will eventually end, and it puts a smile on my face to think this way. That works right??
The realization comes in waves. Sometimes I think about it and feel nothing. Sometimes I just begin to uncontrollably tear up. But either way, I cannot emphasize enough to myself....and the ones I care about....seize the f***ing day man!!! What are we waiting for?!? I'm not waiting for anyone or anything, that's for damned sure...
Words of the Day
om (um) - about
begge to (beg-a toe) - both of us
hinanden (hin-an-den) - each other
ridning (rith-a-ning) - horseback riding
adgangskode (add-gangs-code) - password
gaffel (gaff-el) - fork
In unrelated news, I officially got a job offer from the hostel, so I'm a bartender there, and I took my tour guide test. I will begin giving tours next week. I also had an interview with the Danish school, and classes don't start until May 21st, so a little while to wait. But everything is coming along...as it does, and as it will. Right Elmer?? #OneAmazingIrishman